Back in the 90s, when I was writing a fanzine with my sister, we did a round-up of irksome behaviour at gigs. Looking back, some of the things we described seem decidedly odd nowadays, such as people dancing with lit cigarettes – thankfully, something that no longer happens. However, in recent years a new host of annoying behaviours has arisen, some assisted by technology. Here are my top three gig irritations for 2015.
- Incessant use of mobile phones
This one not only irritates me, it annoys the hell out of some bands, with the Yeah Yeah Yeahs having asked people not to spend the entire gig filming, and the Lene Lovich Band having only last week asked people to remember to look up from their phones. I’m not sure quite how great people think their mobile phone footage, filmed from the middle of a crowd, is going to be or why they need to take fuzzy photos during each and every song (most bands look pretty much the same from beginning to the end of the gig), but a sea of phone screens is apparent at most gigs these days.
At the recent Super Furry Animals gig, I was seated behind a man and a young boy – the kid was young enough that it might have been his first gig. This would have been very touching had the man not furnished the boy with a phone and instructed him to film the gig, while the man used a second device to spend the evening on Facebook. The kid spent most of the gig concentrating on holding his phone steady while it recorded, and the two phones created very bright flashpoints to distract us while the band played some of their more mellow songs with lower stage lighting.
- Drink-pee-drink-pee-Ooh a Hit!
For some people, the live gig experience is little more than a particularly expensive night out at the pub. During the average set, they manage to sink around 20 pints and go to the toilet 40 times. This is disruptive enough when they need to push through a standing crowd, but achieves a whole other standard of irritation when they’re sitting in the middle of a row at a seated gig, and need the whole row to stand up each time they want in or out of their seats.
The drink-pee-drink-pee pattern is interrupted only when the individual recognises the intro to one of the band’s greatest hits. This type of gig-goer manages to sit patiently through two whole songs in the entire night, and I often wonder what the live experience gives them that a pub with a decent jukebox wouldn’t.
- The chatterbox
The chatterbox is another gig-goer with more money than sense. I don’t know about you, but most gigs I go to these days cost around £30 per ticket, and this is more money than I’d want to spend upfront if all I wanted was a catch-up with my mates. I’m not sure if there are more chatterboxes around than there used to be, or if I’m noticing them more for some reason, or if it’s simply that I’m older now and less inclined to push my way down to the front with the die-hard fans – perhaps the back of the gig was always just a place to hang out and talk loudly.
Chatterboxes most recently ruined the second half of a Godspeed You! Black Emperor gig for me, by managing to pitch their chat just at the right level to cut right through what would otherwise have been a lovely, immersive, hypnotic musical experience. At other gigs, I’ve noticed that chatterboxes have an amazing talent for spotting the end of a song and shouting ‘Woooooooo!’, belying the fact that they didn’t actually listen to it or respect anyone else’s right to.
Feel free to comment if you think any others should be on the list!
Still Got Manners 